Why is sex something we whisper about? Why is it something that most people only share with a committed partner?
I was raised in Catholic family. Even as a small child, going to Catholic school and Sunday school, I never believed in the rules that were given to me. For some reason, I thought “oh they don't really mean that… I wont go to hell for having sex before marriage” But even as I type those words, my yoni reacts. She’s angry that I was told that.
When I entered my pleasure revolution, I felt ecstasy, empowerment, love, connectedness, inspiration, even oneness with GOD. But I also felt shame.
Along side all the beauty and intimacy I was a feeling, I also felt like I was dirty and that I needed to hide what I was doing from my family.
My family is very conservative, I have four sisters and even more sister-in-laws and I have never talked to any of them about sex. I didn’t even really talk to many of my friends about it either.
Obviously I had to talk about sexuality and sexual energy when I started teaching women how to use yoni eggs, and I always noticed a discomfort in me.
When I felt into this discomfort, it was like a knot in my stomach, nerves and tension from a belief that was I was doing was wrong.
Why did I believe that sex was wrong?
When I finally looked at this shameful feeling long enough and sat with it, I actually became sick. I had diarrhea for a few days, and then one morning threw up. I was not sick though. I was releasing years of feeling guilty about being sexual before marriage. I was over processing and releasing very quickly emotions that were no longer in service of my purpose here on earth: to teach women's sacred sexuality.
Sex is an innocent thing. It’s pure and natural. When we are sexually alive, we are super sensitive to smells, to sounds, to life. Life moves through us in an orgasmic way. Just taking a breath can feel Holy and dance like a prayer. This is our birth rite, this is how we were born.