Hi, my name is Ann Marie Paul.
When I was 20 years old I had the honor of helping my dear Nana, my mother’s mother, during the end of her life. I took care of her in a very intimate way, dressing her, helping her shower, trying to help her eat, trying to calm her when mind started to go. My sweet, beautiful grandmother would suddenly be shouting and throwing things, it was so sad to see her like this. I thought, maybe there is a way to age without the physical and mental deterioration that happens to most people.
I decided that the answer was yoga, and I began practicing obsessively.
Searching for god and happiness, sweating my ass off, desperate for radiant health. These were fleeting feelings, my health improved, my body changed, and my mind evolved. But during the midst of my years obsessed with yoga, my beloved boyfriend and I broke up. This was devastating, I thought that I would be with him forever and wanted nothing more than to have his children. The pain of losing his companionship was what drove me to India, in a sacred temple there I created a powerful relationship with God the Father, the masculine aspect of sacred intelligent energy. My soul exploded onto the planet in way I never expected. After exiting the walls of this sacred place, I became nomadic. I gave away all of my belongings, it was as if they were not mine any more.
My love for God the Father that was ignited in India brought my awareness to how disconnected I was from God the Mother.
I was raised Catholic, and our Goddesses were the Virgin Mother I was nothing like her and Mary Magdelene, but she was mysterious and called a whore. I wanted to know her more, I felt like I was like her but I knew she was not a whore. When I tuned into deeper to why I could not connect to the Goddess, I knew that the Goddess was not outside of myself but rather, she was inside of me. She was me. I did not know myself though. And at that point I had no idea how to know myself. I thought that the only way to be a woman was to be a mother, that to become a woman my womb had to be filled with a baby.
I searched for a man to fill my womb with light, to make me into a woman. It was not pretty.
For five years, I fell in and out of love. I had a series of strange and unfulfilling relationships that left me in a lot of pain. It was as if I was standing outside of my body, I knew I was not being authentic, these men were seeing something, but not me. I did not know how to be me. I found myself shutting down more and more. And all the while, my body wanted to bond to something, to someone. With every failed relationship I felt more alone and so scared.
I knew that this was not natural; that miracles, co-creation, abundance, connection and play were how humans were meant to live. But I was not experiencing this. I had a deep desire to help women to know this, that they could be happy, too. Even though I was not there yet, I knew it was possible.
Then I found the Jade Egg.
Even before I owned one, I knew that this was it. An energy woke up in my body when I heard about this sacred crystal. I felt it so strongly. My soul recognized the reason I had incarnated on earth, to help women embrace their sexual energy and to teach them to channel it in their lives. This was the key to happiness. Happiness was in my womb. I could fill that part of myself with light, with or without a partner, with or without a baby, I could be happy.
When I started using the Jade Egg and it was as if pink light was emanating from me. Everything shifted.
Love started pouring into my life at a rate I could not have ever imagined possible. The joy that I feel emanating from inside of me is what I was searching for outside of myself. I had come home to myself. I lost weight, I looked younger, I laughed a lot more. Every experience I was in felt so amazing that I did not want it to end. I was able to be vulnerable, it was natural to be open and ask for what I wanted
As a child I experienced sexual trauma, and this had created a totally neurotic way of relating to men.
The relationship with my beloved boyfriend that ended at the end of my twenties did so because I was not in my womb, my magical home. I could not be in there because of the painful, traumatic memories stored there. The egg helped me accept that what happened was not my fault and that it was definitely not going to happen again. Using the Jade Egg helped me to soften, it made me sensitive and vulnerable and therefore open to receiving love. I could not receive before I used the egg, so of course I was starving, needy and felt unloved.
Using the Jade Egg made me get super clear about what I wanted.
At the time, I was still reading tarot cards. I knew that I was going to transition to teaching women how to use this magical egg, but I thought I would continue reading tarot cards for a while. But something strange happened. I could not read tarot cards any more, not because I was not getting messages for people, but because I did not want to tell people the answers to their questions. I now knew that everyone could be their own guide and could have crystal clear intuition and I wanted to put 100% of my energy behind helping women have that experience for themselves. It seemed like a waste of time to read tarot cards. The Jade Egg helped me get in alignment with myself and I wanted to help other women get into alignment with themselves.
There are millions of reasons why women have difficulty staying centered in their in bodies, but in order to be YOU, to be powerful, to feel like you are alive, you have to get back into your body. I am so passionate about teaching women how to use this egg because I believe that it is an amazing way to connect to your true essence and stay connected there.